csiangel17

Disclaimer: I dont own any of these characters, CBS does.


Finally Found

The rain hammered down hard as Gil sat in his SUV, classical music blaring softly out from his CD player. He liked the rain; it gave the city a new clean glow and a kind of purity that he appreciated.

When he reached the crime scene, he parked the SUV on the grass and got out of the car. Noticing the rain was getting heavier; he propped up his umbrella and spotted where Brass was standing by the crime tape.

Gil slowly walked over to greet Brass but as usual began to observe the surroundings before he got to the detective's side. He was in the middle over nowhere, walking through an increasingly muddy and deep ditch just to get to the crime scene. “Hey Gil,” said Brass. “Lovely night isn’t it?” he said sarcastically.

“Actually yes,” replied Gil, “Rain and a full moon signify a cleansing of the mind and body” he stated, changing the position of his umbrella away from the wind.

“Well the dirt’s definitely been scrubbed of this one,” quipped Brass, looking down into the smaller ditch beneath his feet. Gil followed his glances down to a male body laying face down covered in mud.

“What’ve we got here then?” asked Gil, putting on his white gloves.

“Well a passer-by called it in half an hour ago and found the body when he stopped to take a leak,” said Brass smirking. “I’m gonna go question the guy who found him. May I?” he said, pointing at Gil’s umbrella.

“Certainly” said Gil mock politely, handing him over the umbrella.

Gil bent down into the ditch, subsequently getting himself covered from the waist down in mud. He snapped a few pictures of the vic, searched for ID in his back trouser pocket, and then went to turn him over.

“Jim, get here now” yelled Gil, Brass immediately ran over, “Take a look at this.”

Brass peered into the ditch as Gil turned over the body and saw a female body lying under the first one.

“Well you know what they say, behind every great man, lies a great woman. I guess its true,” he said, smirking again.

“Well I need to call my great woman,” smiled Gil, getting out his mobile.

“Why?” asked Brass, not really interested.

“Two bodies, two CSI’s-- you know how it works,” said Gil as he dialled Cath’s home phone.

Brass shrugged his shoulders in agreement and went back to the passer-by.

**********

Catherine was sitting on her couch, curled up with a mug of cocoa, listlessly channel flicking. Lindsey had gone away on a school trip so she had nothing better to do. So as soon as the phone rang, she jumped for it.

“Hello?” she said, snuggling back onto the couch.

“Hey Cath, it’s Gil, what you up to?”

“Oh nothing, got a hot date,” she said wearily, looking down at her cocoa.

“Really so what’s he like?” replied Gil jokingly, hoping she was joking.

“You know, warm, sweet, fluffy, smells gorgeous and very chocolaty”, she huskily replied, tugging at her sweater sleeves. Gil didn’t reply.

“You still there?” she said, confused.

“Uh yeah,” he barely got out and cleared his throat, transfixed on how she sounded, “Do you mind pulling yourself away from your rendezvous and coming down to a crime scene?” he asked, in his sweetest voice.

“Oh on my day off, why?” she whined, not really asking a question.

“Because I need you.” answered Gil instantly.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that,” she said surprised at his fast and definite response.

“Because it’s dark, rainy and muddy and no one else looks better in those than you. Plus, I miss your tush." Gil was unsure of how she would take his answer.

“Much better,” she said laughing. She then heard Gil hang up on her. ‘That was rude’ she thought. But she shrugged it off as Grissom being Grissom, and ran upstairs to get changed. She had a crime scene to process.

**********

Half an hour later, Gil had separated the two bodies and requested a tent being put up over the crime scene. He then started to process the male vic, since the rain subsided a little. He was alone in the field after the police cleared the area. Brass had taken the passer-by to the station for a statement. As he continued to process the body, he was distracted by a noise coming from the distance. When he looked up, he was confronted by a figure coming out of the darkness, illuminated by the milky white light of the moon. As the figure got closer, Gil noticed the smooth curves of the person’s body and the way that the person glides gracefully through the mud, which distracted him from his work. As the figure got closer he realised that it was Catherine, and a broad smile spread across his face. He tried to get back to his work, but he couldn’t, he was transfixed

‘God she’s beautiful’, Gil whispered under his breath, as Catherine continued to walk towards him. The moonlight framed the lines of her face, illuminating her strawberry blond curls and making her blue eyes glimmer. He sat there transfixed, searching frantically through his mind about why he felt like this.

‘What’s going on with me?’ he thought, confused not understanding why he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

As Catherine walked towards the crime scene, she noticed a shadow crouching down in the distance; she immediately recognised it as Gil, the white moonlight bouncing off Gils silver curls, giving him an angel – like appearance.

‘Well he’s not that far off it. He's such a great man.’ she thought reminiscing over all the times that he had selflessly helped her out of difficulties, particularly when she was going through a rough patch with Eddie. ‘I just wish I could break down that barrier he seems to carry around with him.’ Ending her thoughts with a sigh.

She could understand why he was so guarded. She always let down her guard around him, but she never could really get him to open up to her. It really upset her, it was almost as though he didn’t value there friendship.

As she got closer to him, she noticed him staring at her and began to get a bit paranoid. It wasn’t the fact that he was looking at her that she found strange, it was the fact that she felt compelled to look back at him too. She couldn’t help but notice how the rain gave him a certain something that made her feel a way about him that she’d never felt before. As she continued wading through the mud, she got her shoe stuck in some grass. She didn’t realise how close to the edge of the ditch she was getting because of the darkness, and as she leaned forward to remove the plant, she felt herself lose balance.

Gil smiled at Catherine and waved at her as she came into full view. However, she didn’t notice as she was occupied with freeing herself from the plant. Gil took his eyes off of her for a minute and noticed how close to the edge of the three foot ditch she was. He anticipated what could happen and rushed over too the other side of the ditch.

As Catherine freed herself from the weed, she lost her balance completely and fell, letting out a cry. At that moment, Gil stumbled over to the edge and caught her as she fell, her landing right into her arms.

“I got ya,” he said, a bit out of breath.

“Thanks,” she replied in a hushed voice, as Catherine remained in his arms.

She waited for his grip to loosen, but it didn’t. She felt herself drawn deep into his blue eyes. She had never realised how beautiful they were before, and for the first time in the many years that she had known him, she felt close to him--closer than she had ever felt before. It was if those eyes looking at her right now were telling her every thought he’d ever had. She could detect every bit of pain he’d ever felt or every happy moment he’d ever known.

As he held her in his grip, he realised that he never wanted to let go. There was something about having her in his arms that felt right and he couldn’t understand it. He looked deep into her eyes, noticing that she was looking at him too obviously thinking something, and smiled, hoping for an acknowledgement of some sorts.

“Kiss me,” she said suddenly, not really thinking and shocking herself. But she realized it was what she wanted.

“Sorry, why?” he stuttered in happy disbelief.

“Because if you don’t kiss me now, this moment’s going to pass and I’m to regret it for the rest of my life,” she whispered, looking away from him. Scared inside at how he would respond.

He paused for a minute, feeling his heart beating faster. He then turned her head gently towards him and kissed her tenderly for just a few seconds, but to him it felt like eternity. He then released her from his grip and looked down at his feet. Catherine took a step back and took him by the hand. She brought him close to her and kissed him passionately again. Suddenly, Gil broke away from her, and turned his back to her, the rain now gushing down.

“What’s wrong?” asked Catherine, she was worried that this might happen.

Gil didn’t reply as the rain came to a halt and Catherine walked slowly up to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder, gently turning his head and body towards her.

“Talk to me,” she said gently, but resolutely.

He stood there looking at her quietly, tears welling up in both their eyes. Cath hoped Gil would think it was the rain. She took her hand off his shoulder to turn away.

“Catherine, wait!” said Gil so fervently that it made her stop dead in her tracks. “I don’t want you to go, ever. But I can't do this.” He whispered the last part. This was like a blow to her heart, and he knew it.

“Why?” she said, practically unable to speak.

“Because I don’t understand why you kissed me. For years I’ve wanted you-- through you and Eddie, through you, Eddie and Lindsey, but I never got anything from you. I gave you my foetal pig and I thought you’d understand why I gave it to you, but you just thought it was a kind gesture. It was a sign of my love and you didn’t get that. How can you love me if you don’t understand me?”

Tears welled up in his eyes, and he wiped them away, blaming the rain, even though it wasn’t raining.

“Gil, I didn’t realise,” she answered choking on her words, “I do love you, I’ve always had feelings for you and I didn’t realise that until today. All through the times with Eddie you were there for me and I took it as friendship. And...”

Gil stopped her and asked, “How can you just realise it?”

“Because love is not about rationalisations and secret messages. It's about passion, spontaneity, and letting yourself be totally immersed in one person. It has to do with being able to be one hundred per cent yourself with a person. You said yourself, you want someone who doesn’t judge you, and I never have. I..." She stopped, feeling Gil’s lips against hers, as he kissed her again.

“That wasn’t rational” he said, smiling at her.

“No, it wasn’t," she replied slowly, smiling back. They let their eyes meet once more, and then they both got back to work. Nothing more was said between them as the other CSI’s arrived. They only shared a secret, brief glance that spoke a thousand words.

**********

Six months had passed after the case, and Gil and Cath had started up a proper relationship. Not quite in secret, because Catherine didn’t feel that would be right, but it was discreet enough so that people didn’t suspect anything.

When Cath got into work that morning, she found Gil in his office, in a suit, listening to some Mozart while reading a book on North America’s rarest beetles.

“Heya, stud” she said jokily after entering and went to sit on his desk but found no room. “Hey where’s my tush space?”

“I found it a new home,” he said, smiling from behind his book.

“Oh really?” she replied, giving him a look.

“Oh really what?” Ecklie asked, after walking into the room.

“Hi Conrad, what do you want?" Gil replied, putting down his book and obviously annoyed.

“You, actually. I need you to re-open and re-evaluate the Presser case. Apparently, some evidence wasn’t handled properly,” said Ecklie scowling at Catherine.

“That was my case, and the evidence was handled immaculately” said Catherine defending herself.

“Not to my standards, Miss Willows, I need you to pull a triple and re-process everything. Got it?”

Cath opened her mouth to hit back at Ecklie with something she’d probably regret later.

“We’ll do it together, thank you Conrad,” interjected Gil before she got to say something. Ecklie then walked out. Catherine glared at Gil.

“Don’t let him get to you, it just makes him feel great and you feel worse,” said Gil reassuringly, walking over and kissing her on the head and then the lips.

“And another thing Willows,” Ecklie yelled as he walked back into the room, “What the hell do you two think you’re doing; my office now!”

**********

Gil and Catherine sat in two chairs in front of Ecklie’s desk, both thinking about what he was going to say. Catherine looked around the room and said, "What a dump."

“That’s Conrad for you,” replied Gil not really paying attention. Ecklie then walked in and sat down.

“So what exactly happened in there?” questioned Ecklie. Gil felt like how he imagined suspects felt like when they were interrogated.

“Nothing happened. Gil and I are in a mature and loving relationship. We were just expressing our feelings. There are no rules against that,” said Cath defiantly.

“Actually there are,” replied Ecklie smugly. “And they clearly state that no personal relationships maybe permitted between co-workers if they are likely to jeopardise the integrity of the lab.”

“Our relationship is not jeopardising the lab’s integrity,” hit back Catherine.

“Actually your and Gil’s work has become increasingly sloppy recently. Now I know why.”

“No it hasn’t,” Catherine said looking at Gil for help but received nothing. He hated confrontation of any kind.

“Actually, it has, especially your work Willows. We’ve received half a dozen complaints just this month about your work, and Gil, you’re still behind on those reports,” continued Ecklie.

“Hey, that was due to poor administrating by your department. I did my job! It's not my fault you can't sort out your team properly to get my results to the DA.”

“Insubordination is not going to work in your favour in a minute, Willows,”

“What do you mean in a minute?” asked Gil

“I have an ultimatum I can’t let the standards of this lab slip so either you stop seeing each other or I’m going to have to let you both go,” he said nonchalantly.

“You’re kidding me, right? You can’t do that?” protested Catherine as Gil just sat there, in deep thought.

“No. And yes I can it’s my lab. I’ll give you two time to talk,” he said, walking out.

They both sat there in silence. Catherine looked at Gil hoping for some kind of response but she got none. She knew what he was thinking and it scared her. She had made up her mind already, but she knew that he was going through hell just now. So she continued to sit and observe the room, occasionally flicking her hair back nervously.

Gil sat there, in shock. He couldn’t believe what was happening. All he wanted to do was slap Ecklie but he knew he couldn’t. 'It would be letting Cath down’, he thought, ‘She’s been really strong. I’m proud of her’.

His mind then wandered to the crucial decision that he had to make in choosing the lab or his career. The question spun around in his head, taunting him for his indecisiveness. It was like he was being pulled at by a little devil and a little angel on his shoulder. Every time he thought he had the answer, another niggling point would come into his head.

‘I love Cath, but then if I loved her that much surely the choice between her and the lab would be easy,’ he told himself. ‘But maybe the whole reason I love the lab is because she is the heart and soul of it.’

Gil continued musing on how he worked so hard to get where he was now. But would he give it all up for one woman? But again, he knew deep in his heart Catherine was the one woman he'd want to spend his life with.

‘That’s the point, I have no life,’ he thought again, ‘That's why I need the lab. But is it the life I want?’ he asked himself. His mind then went blank. He had no more thoughts; he knew his answer. He walked slowly out the room, averting his eyes from Catherine. She watched him walk out the room, her heart sinking as he ignored her gazes and her stomach churned in anticipation.


**********

Fifteen minutes later, Gil walked back in to find Catherine glaring hard at Ecklie, who looked intimidated by her glances. Catherine sprung up from her seat when Gil walked in and took his hands.

“I need to know your answer. I’ve told Conrad mine already. I want to be with you, but unless you want to be with me, I cant lose my job. I have to think about Lindsey," she said, tears welling up in hers eyes.

As she held Gil’s hands, she said a silent prayer that he would pick her and then let them drop. She continued to stare intently into his eyes. He felt his heart beat faster as he tried to start to talk but Cath interrupted him.

“Gil, just let me say one more thing, and please don’t say anything while I’m talking, I just need to get this out of my system.” she took a deep breath and then continued, “I love you, and not like superficial love, I’m in love with you. I can’t imagine my life without you and I don’t want to. I’d never admit this to any other man, but I need you. You make me feel like I’ve never felt before and I never want that to end. If there is even an ounce of you that feels any of those things that I do, then please, pick me.” She said her voice gradually going down to a whisper, struggling to fight back the tears in Ecklie’s presence.

Gil shuffled his feet as Catherine spoke. The sincerity and passion in her voice touched his heart.

“Catherine,” he started, taking a deep breath trying to control the shakiness in his voice. “I’ve worked in this lab for going on 18 years now. It’s been my whole life, all I’ve ever wanted…” He then paused for a breath and to hold back the tears that were coming to his eyes.

When Gil stopped for a breath, Cath’s heart stopped too, she couldn’t believe that the lab was what he wanted. She was angry and upset. She wanted to just shrink into the corner of the room or smack Gil around the head. But she couldn’t do either of those, Ecklie was still watching.

“Ecklie, could you go please,” sobbed Cath annoyed he was still in the room. Ecklie obediently skulked out the room. She looked at Gil giving him dagger eyes. He looked back at her and carried on talking.

“However,” he said. That word sounding like heaven on Cath’s ears. “When I met you, you changed all that, you changed me. I’m a better, happier person now, and you did that to me. Before I had you, I had no life. You give me life and hope and most importantly love. That four letter word that evaded me all my life. You gave it to me and I’m sharing it with you. Because I love you Catherine Willows. I always have and always will--for as long as I live.”

As soon as he finished speaking, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. He had given his life up for her and she knew it.

“You love me more than bugs?” she asked laughing and grabbed his face.

“Of course… well at least the small ones,” he replied, laughing too and kissed her again as tears of joy ran down both their faces.

“We’re going to be ok. Who needs work when we have each other?” she said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze as they walked out of the building.

“I know,” he replied with a broad smile creeping across his face, dimples in full glory. “All I’ll ever need is you."